


Poultry in Motion

by HYPERFocused



Category: due South
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-27 18:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12587844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HYPERFocused/pseuds/HYPERFocused
Summary: Ray might be going a little bit quackers.





	Poultry in Motion

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted March 31, 2008 as prompt fic for TigerKity16. Tweaked a bit.  
> This ended up much more gen than I'd hoped. Sorry, but ducks are just not that sexy.If it helps any, I was totally imagining Ray and Fraser in a bubble bath while I wrote it.

Ever since the case with the phony plastic surgeon -- the guy had almost fake-botoxed Stella's _mother_ for Christ's sake, Ray had been seeing random rubber ducks everywhere. It was creepy.

At first he thought it was like when you saw a white car, and then noticed all the other white cars around because your eye was set to notice white cars. But after awhile he was sure it was something more sinister. Someone was trying to tell him something.

"What are you looking for, Ray? You seem preoccupied."

"Can't you see them? Stupid little yellow freaks. Everywhere. Mocking me. Another rubber duck? They're stalking me, I swear, Frase!"

"That's highly unlikely, Ray. Children's bath toys have no ability to move without human action, nor are they capable of even having the inclination towards stalker-like behavior."

"Then explain why I keep seeing them everywhere I look?"

”Well, Ray, they are a bright yellow, certainly quite noticeable for something so small. And you’re trained to be especially observant. ”

Fine. So they aren't actually stalking me. Still, I'm seeing way too many ducks for my liking. And what about the one somebody mailed me. It has my birthday stamped on it. That's just freaky."

'"If you recall, it was attached to a flyer about the upcoming Rubber Ducky Charity Regatta. You paid $20 towards the Friends of Lake Michigan to enter it in a race. If the one with your number completes the course first, you get a boat."

"When did I do that? Why would I do that?"

"I believe it was when Stella told you the first Ray had put in for two of them at five dollars each, and you had to double that."

"Yeah, that sounds like something I'd do."

They walked into the station, where Ray found a handful of the things on his desk.

"Okay, seriously guys? This is the last straw. What the hell is up with all the ducks?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Huey asked, though he was laughing too hard to be clearly understood.

"Yeah, what do you have against ducks, Vecchio?" Dewey added.

"I don't have anything against ducks. I'm just tired of seeing them everywhere I go."  
  
"Oh, how sad. Is it driving you quackers?"

"That's really not funny, Lieu."

"It really is, Ray. I mean, you should hear yourself. Why you're practically squeaking."

"You, too, Frannie? For shame."

"You know, Ray, it's been noted that when one has unexpected visions, sometimes it means one's intuition, or one's sixth sense, if you will, is trying to tell him something." But even Fraser couldn't keep a straight face. His eyebrow twitched in that way it did when he was highly amused. '"Still, I doubt it's anything serious."

"Yeah? You think?" Ray wondered what he was trying to tell himself. Avoid Chinese food? Get a friend for his turtle?

"Hmm, or maybe not." Fraser picked up the newspaper on his desk. "Quack Killer Escapes" read the headline. It seemed the Botox doc would be avoiding his allotted jail time, at least until they found him again. "It looks like you have an admirer, or perhaps these were meant as a warning."

"That's just ducky, isn't it," Ray said, getting ready for the search.

 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://ds-con-envy.livejournal.com/profile)[**ds_con_envy**](http://ds-con-envy.livejournal.com/) [](http://tigerkity16.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://tigerkity16.livejournal.com/)**tigerkity16** , whose prompt was "Another rubber duck? They're stalking me, I swear, Frase!"


End file.
